Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
