the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
