when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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