Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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