please come you make the beer taste better
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
