I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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