SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How does one acquire holy water?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
