im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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