Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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