I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
