playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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