Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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