Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
