Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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