I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
