I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
