So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I love you. Go after that dick
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
