I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
