Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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