i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
