Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Randomize
