Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize