Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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