So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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