The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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