ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
