I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
