I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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