Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
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