i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
