This girl is more easily done than said...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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