i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
