Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
