Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
