She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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