meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
