Duck Duck Cougar?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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