That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
