dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
