i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
