The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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