I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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