He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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