i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
