we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
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