its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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