Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
whose ass print is on the piano?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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