Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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