I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Randomize
