I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
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