I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
two words: eviction party
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
