This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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