I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
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Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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