I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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