i think my mom watched the whole time
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
