Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
