This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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