I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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