Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
