highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
