She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
