My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
