HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.