Apparently you make a good broom.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.