Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
ttyl tear gas
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything