Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.

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  (267): This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again. http://tfl.nu/qxgz
  Replies (4) Good night (1663) Bad night (2497)
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  (858): View more from California

  I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.

  (619): View more from California

  you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS

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  (858): I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up. (619): you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS http://tfl.nu/a8ci
  Replies (22) Good night (6870) Bad night (1421)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.

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  (515): On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it. http://tfl.nu/mvhu
  Replies (12) Good night (7097) Bad night (1360)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"

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  (262): How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?" http://tfl.nu/pevk
  Replies (33) Good night (3363) Bad night (1336)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.

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  (402): I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange. http://tfl.nu/kq15
  Replies (3) Good night (3442) Bad night (1315)
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  (925): View more from California

  I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.

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  (925): I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3. http://tfl.nu/j6bz
  Replies (2) Good night (988) Bad night (2891)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne

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  (603): I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne http://tfl.nu/z1js
  Replies (7) Good night (1777) Bad night (1324)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?

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  (314): hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay? http://tfl.nu/svsk
  Replies (11) Good night (3601) Bad night (645)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.

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  (404): I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special. http://tfl.nu/228x
  Replies (3) Good night (1215) Bad night (690)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye

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  (360): Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye http://tfl.nu/wt8g
  Replies (5) Good night (608) Bad night (908)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy

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  (515): i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy http://tfl.nu/58yw
  Replies (15) Good night (1494) Bad night (499)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.

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  (315): Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount. http://tfl.nu/8uiz
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.

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  (816): He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off. http://tfl.nu/akk3
  Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (432)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.

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  (512): You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas. http://tfl.nu/qzzy
  Replies (3) Good night (452) Bad night (264)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter

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  (541): He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter http://tfl.nu/mn2b
  Replies (5) Good night (866) Bad night (267)

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