I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
