I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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